What I Learned

This post is about six years in the making, well, OK, maybe eight.  April 17th My husband Donovan and I celebrate our Anniversary of eight years.  Can't beleive how quickly they have gone.  So we have had many moments of goodness, laughter, sadness, fear, highs and lows.  We married April of 2004.  We had a very beautiful, relaxing honeymoon in Jamaica!  We made our home in Chaska, MN.  There were many days we thought we would not make it.  We fought so much, easily three to four times a week...and that may have been a good week.  I don't know what held us together but the grace of God.  There were moments in-between the fighting also though that were precious and priceless.  Memories made and hopefully cemented in our minds forever.  We loved to take drives in the country.  We so enjoyed a beautiful day at Canterbury watching those majestic horses run with fury.  Many weekends we went to our cabin in Wisconsin, so peaceful.  We tried our hand at home improvement there and discovered we will be leaving that to the professionals in times to come.  We loved a lazy summer day at a Twins game.  We traveled to Scotland together and discovered cobblestone roads one may believe were never walked on and stumbled upon forests and rivers in the Highlands of which one may mistake for being caught in a painting and roamed the scattered castles of the land.  Two years had gone by before ya knew it!!  And then, the news.  Donovan has cancer.  The word you hear of only other people dreading.


So, the title of this post is "What I Learned" and here it is simply:  If there is indeed love it doesn't matter the time.  Two minutes, two hours, two days, two months, two years, twenty years, fifty, seventy...When you love someone, there simply isn't enough time.  And this always leads me back to possibly why God gave such a gift of Christ dying  for our sins that we may spend eternity with Him (thats a lot of time!!!)...because He LOVES us!!!  God wants to share all that time with us!  Can you imagine?!  


Another thing I learned is how much Donovan loves me and the way/how he shows me his love.  By protecting and providing...heavy on the providing.  He sat me down several times during this season in our marriage to go over the finances to make sure I knew where everything was and what it was so I would be taken care of and knew what to do should anything happen to him.  And he still does so to this day and I suspect he always will.  I of coarse do not like it when he does this because it makes me think of the moments he may not be around...or vice versa.


Back to the two hours to seventy years!  As I sat by Donovan in many waiting rooms, hospital rooms, chemo sessions, and the aftermath of those moments I would think to myself.  The pain of losing one so close doesn't make it easier if there is less time spent with that individual... If you haven't had the fortune of creating epic memories you mourn the moments that never were...


I love this song I posted along with this particular post ("All of Me" by Matt Hamitt).  It always brings me back to that lesson in life of how precious it is and that the time to love some one is now and needs to be fully and completely.  The love we muster up down here on earth may not be perfect but give it anyway.  I think people will recognize the genuineness if it is coming from your heart.


One thing I know and that I knew the moment I had gotten the news of Donovan's cancer is my love is real for him as his love also is for me.  It is a journey we look back on and can see God's hand of provision and love.  Thinking back I remember just hoping for more moments and realizing and recognizing when that day does approach for either one of us... it will be a sad day.  No matter how little or how long our time together will be.  I remember literally thinking what is the moment going to be like if I actually witness his last breath... how surreal that would be...or he for me.  These lives intertwined...when one loses life.  I know this all may sound so morbid, but I think its a good thing to remember...to make every day count.  


There are other things I learned during this time too, but maybe thats another post!  Much love to all of you and as many others say at the end of their posts...hope to be here more often to write more frequently!  Till next time...